ADHD - An Excuse or An Explanation?
By Dana Rayburn, Adult ADD Coach

ADDed Success is ADD Coach Dana Rayburn's monthly newsletter about living
successfully with Attention Deficit Disorder.

Welcome to ADDed Success!
As I was working out at the gym last week, a woman nearby discussed her
husband's ADHD with a friend. Fed up, she lamented how her spouse used his
ADHD as an excuse for his frustrating behavior.

Since I was eavesdropping, I smashed my impulse to join the conversation. It did
get me thinking though about the fine line between using ADHD as an excuse and
using ADHD as an explanation.

I believe that as adults with ADD we don't want to make excuses for our behavior,
though often we do need to explain it -- if not to others than at least to ourselves.

That's why I consider the difference between an excuse and an explanation to be
an issue of attitude.

I believe using ADHD as an excuse implies a total lack of control where unwanted
behavior becomes the fault of ADHD.

I think using ADHD as an explanation suggests taking responsibility for the
behavior; changing what can be changed and accepting what can't or won't be
changed.

Here's an example of using ADHD as an excuse: "I have ADHD so my house is
always a mess and there's nothing I can do about it."

Now let's use the same example with ADHD as an explanation: "I have ADHD so
it's hard for me to keep my house tidy. I have to set things up so I can be
organized and limit my actions that contribute to a mess."

See the difference?

Remember the woman at the gym? Likely her husband's behavior wouldn't
frustrate her nearly as much if instead of making excuses he honestly tried to
change and used explanations instead.

What about you? Do you use excuses or explanations for ADHD's impact on your
behavior?


The Last Word
I don't dye my hair. I am the rare woman in her 40s who doesn't attempt to hide
the encroaching gray.

For me not dying my hair is an ADD thing. You see I struggle to do personal
hygiene stuff consistently. So if I dyed my hair, sooner or later I'd begin to look
like a skunk -- dark hair with a white roots stripe down the middle.

I don't really like going gray, but it doesn't bother me enough to do anything about
it.

I've made the conscious decision to go gray naturally.

There it is, that fine line between using ADD as an excuse or an explanation.

To Your ADDed Success,
Dana

PS. - Trouble Staying Organized? No Problem! Reserve your copy of 'Organized
for Life' at the special 'early-bird' price.

Unleash Your Power
My clients improve their productivity, increase their profits, and take control of
their life. Learn more about coaching for business people and other high
functioning adults with ADHD.

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