Do You Compare Yourself to People without ADHD?
By Dana Rayburn, Adult ADD Coach

ADDed Success Is The Monthly Online Ezine for Adults with ADHD from ADD Coach Dana Rayburn.

Welcome to ADDed Success!

Sally, a new ADD coaching client, recently confessed, "I keep comparing myself to other people.”

"Why do I struggle," she asked, "with the same things my friends and co-workers handle so easily?"

Sally has inattentive ADHD. She is a successful businessperson, wife and mother of two.

"My friends have dinner parties without breaking a sweat", Sally continued. "I have enough trouble feeding my family every night. We haven't entertained for ages."

"Then there's the extra time I spend at the office finishing tasks my co-workers do in a snap. You wouldn't believe the effort it takes just to turn my expense reports in on time."

Sally's trials are common among people with ADHD.

Just managing the daily tasks of life presents enough challenge. Adding any steps and activities simply makes things dauntingly complex.

It doesn't help when we see other people easily handle the same things we struggle over.

Recently I was amazed to watch my sister-in-law calmly pack for a weekend trip in a few minutes. I would have spent much longer preparing for a similar jaunt.

Here's what I'll coach Sally to do over the next few months to ease the stress she feels from living with ADHD:

• Stop comparing herself to other people, especially those without ADHD. Comparisons just set her up for disappointment.
  
  

• Accept that ADHD makes some things harder to do. Success stems from creating solutions instead of wallowing in problems.
  
  

• Focus on her strengths by building her world around things she is good at. There are things Sally does much better than her friends and co-workers. We just need to uncover and accentuate those things.
  
  

• Get specific about which steps of what tasks cause her the most trouble. When we know where the true challenges lie we can face them.
  
  

• Devise creative ways for her to more easily do the things that challenge her.
  

With good coaching things will get easier for Sally. Comparisons will be fewer; confidence will be greater.

Her ADHD will continue to be part of the picture, of course, but as she learns to outsmart it, Sally's ADHD will lose much of its power.

The Last Word
Our last issue about ADHD and driving certainly touched some nerves.

Lots of readers e-mailed tales of driving under the influence of ADHD and what they do to manage it.

Many also reported involvement in multiple car crashes. I thought I was the only one who did that!

Here are just a couple of comments you sent.

Howard wrote:
"Thanks for your article. The big challenge that driving always caused me was the tendency to fall asleep if driving more than and hour or two on the highway. I'm inattentive type, and having to focus for such a long time made my brain shut down. Medicine helps a ton or chewing and splitting open sunflower seeds in my mouth also helps!"

Dana here:
Think sunflower seeds too fattening or messy? Since the chewing action is the key, gum might do the trick, too.

Mary Kay wrote:
"Word to the wise for ADHD drivers: make sure you have at least 20 or 25,000 [dollars] of personal property coverage. I had only my state minimums on all my coverage, and the personal property was only 15,000. I totaled my car into a car still worth $20,000. Now the other insurance company is coming after me personally to collect the extra $5,000! Needless to say I immediately upped my coverage..."

Dana here:
Obviously, I'm not an insurance expert. Please check in with your insurance agent to make sure you've got enough –- and the right kinds of -- coverage.

To Your ADDed Success,
Dana

PS. - Trouble Staying Organized? No Problem! Reserve your copy of 'Organized for Life' at the special 'early-bird' price.

Unleash Your Power
Through ADD coaching, my clients improve their productivity, increase their profits, and take control of their life. Learn more about ADD coaching for business people and other high-functioning adults with ADHD.

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